Male Bonding at Lowe’s By Terri White

Male Bonding at Lowe’s
By Terri White
 
On a sunny spring day, Charlie showed up grinning from ear to ear.  We chatted briefly. Then he and Steve headed to Grumps for burgers and bonding.
​
Meanwhile, I spent the day relaxing in my back porch after a hectic last week of school.  Nothing but bird songs, a gentle breeze, and a page-turner book to fill my day. So I didn’t give much thought to the guys. 

Eventually, I prepared my lunch, napped, and read some more.  Still no returning guys. They are adults, after all.  Here’s hoping anyway. By 3:00 pm, I presumed they had long vacated Grumps and had moved onto greener pastures – like Lowe’s or Home Depot.  You know, a guy’s field trip?

As my mind conjured their trip, I became more and more convinced that I was right.  How much talking can men really do over burgers? I figured that had they used up all their words pretty quickly, so they needed to move and do.  Hence Lowe’s, the perfect fit.

I could just picture it. Moseying down every aisle. Examining all the tools & supplies.  Checking out the appliances. Trying out the lawn furniture. Sniffing the lumber. Finally, strolling into the greenhouse to admire the array of plants.  All the while discussing the merits of every item.  They might even return home with a new widget or two. It’s a guy thing.  All part of male bonding.

On the other hand, we girls can talk over a four-hour lunch and still not exhaust our supply of words. There’s a lot to say when women gather. So chatting over a meal provides the perfect setting.  We don’t need to wander down store aisles. Those mean that we are on the hunt to purchase items on our list.

Okay. Okay.  We do “window shop”.  We do meander in clothing stores and try on clothes.  We do like another woman’s opinion of said clothing item. Otherwise, we look in the mirror, and blurt, “Oh my goodness! I’ve turned into my mother!” Yes, I actually declared that several years ago.

However, it’s the lunch and chatting that seals the deal with us gals.  Guys, though, prefer action.  Hence, my theory about Charlie and Steve’s afternoon.  Surely, they were lollygagging at Lowe’s or Home Depot - movin’ and groovin’.

So I just chilled at home.  No worries. Relaxing.

Finally, Steve waltzed into the house, all grins. I perked up, “How was Lowe’s?”  So confident. 

Perplexed, Steve responded, “We spent the afternoon talking at Grumps.”

Well, boy howdy! Doesn’t that beat all.